This able body has been in the seller’s possession for twenty-seven years. It is yellow on the outside to represent the Chineseness. This Chineseness has been used in China for the early stage from zero to sixteen and recently been primarily used in the United States. It’s functionality varies from place to place so there’s no guarantee on when or where it’ll work as it intended or even work. Buyer will receive a certificate of authenticity written in Chinese. Benefits and risks are listed as following:
Benefit:
1. By acquiring the Chineseness, the buyer gains access to secret Chinese martial arts.
2. By acquiring the Chineseness, the buyer gains the trademark of being good at math.
3. By acquiring the Chineseness, the buyer gains instant access to the mysterious Chinese woman.
4. By acquiring the Chineseness, the buyer gains the ability to deposit more money in the bank than spending it.
5. By acquiring the Chineseness, the buyer gains the license to be cheap.
6. By acquiring the Chineseness, the buyer gains the right to spit anywhere they want freely, and making loud noises in public spaces.
7. By acquiring the Chineseness, the buyer become one of the the members of the world’s largest population.
8. By acquiring the Chineseness, the buyer automatically understands one of the most difficult language on earth.
9. By acquiring the Chineseness, the buyer possesses the ability to eat almost anything in the world without ever feeling nauseated.
10. By acquiring the Chineseness, the buyer gets to become a so called “Banana”.
Risks:
1. Seller does not recommend the buy to have too much expectation in benefit 1, 2, 3, 6, 8, 9 as there are no guarantees on these benefits.
2. Seller does not recommend to use this Chineseness in seeking a math related employment.
3. Seller does not recommend the use of this Chineseness while driving.
4. Seller does not recommend the use of this Chineseness while protesting in China.
5. Seller does not recommend the buyer to display this Chineseness in front of members of the eastern turkistan islamic movement.
6. Seller does not recommend the use of this Chineseness while pursuing a standup career.
7. Seller does not recommend the use of this Chineseness in any kind of legal case.
8. Seller does not recommend the use of this Chineseness while travelling Europe, American, Australia, and other Asian countries.
9. Seller does not recommend the use of this Chineseness in Hollywood while not possessing the martial art skills equivalent of Bruce Lee, Jackie Chen, and Jet Lee.
10. ****** EXTREME CAUTION ****** Seller extremely against the use of this Chineseness in a club while trying to score a White, Black, Hispanic, or Indian female as DoS is imminent.
Thank you and happy bidding.
© Death to Bunnies, a blog of The Departed Online and a Cold Pizza Studio production.
Leave a comment